I’m Busy
By Diana Paque,
Certified Life Between Lives® Hypnotherapist, USA
Greta is a 52-year-old unmarried woman who lives a very active life. By day she works as an occupational therapist, and in her spare time is engaged in a number of physical and spiritual practices to support alignment of mind, body, and spirit. She loves rhythm and dance and considers herself to be healthy and connected to her spiritual self. However, the big issue that has escaped her is why she has never had a sustaining intimate relationship that she has so desperately wanted. She explains that she has many close friends and relatives, but when it comes to being in that one close relationship, it never seems to appear. She told me the story of meeting a man and having mutual interest develop, but he ended any hope of something deep saying to her that it seems that she has a sign saying I’m Busy written across her forehead. And so while she has a number of questions about her father who died when she was very young, her work, and her dog, ultimately it was that one true connection that drew her to doing LBL work.
Going back through childhood was uneventful, as was entering the womb. As Greta reflected on her life choice, she noted that one of the lessons of this lifetime was about realizing some balance between her interactions for herself and for others. She explained that the lesson she struggled with in her early life was around self-absorption, but she felt that she was moving on to other lessons for the second half of her life.
As Greta entered her past life, she found herself to be a strong Asian male named Oh – a fighter who had arrived in a hut and was struck by a sense of loss and loneliness. At that point, he had no context for these feelings, so we progressed back to the beginning of his life.
Oh found himself to be bright and curious, As a small boy of 6 or 7 he was in a dojo learning to use weapons, and being taught by a teacher/mentor. He went to this school to learn this discipline which was very strict but he likes it. Oh stated he was a good student.
As a young man, Oh continues in this training environment and discipline, but he meets a young woman with whom he bonds. It was forbidden for warrior/students to engage outside of the dojo, so he has some guilt about leaving and meeting her. She becomes pregnant and Oh faces the dilemma of staying with his training and practice or leaving to be with her. His heart is with her, but his work requires him to remain disciplined. He leaves her with a heavy heart, and pursues his vocation as a warrior monk. He feels bad but he feels he can not disappoint his master; he’s not to be in a family life. Oh also was conflicted that if he were with her and got killed, she would suffer. So, in the end, he left just before he saw the baby, because he knew he couldn’t leave if he saw his child.
Over the next few years, Oh fulfilled his duty, taking on dangerous assignments because life without her does not matter. He doesn’t have the will to live, and decided to complete his mission – the hero’s death fighting for his land, and believing that risking his life will relieve his pain and tension.
At the time of his death, Oh was on a spy mission at night and was killed with a spear. That night he had told himself that he would be brave, but life didn’t matter. He thinks about her a lot, but knows that he can’t resolve the tension. Greta notes that the spear hit his head and throat, exactly the places where Greta has chronic pain.
As Oh was dying, he thought about her. His soul visits her and tells her that he loves her. He travels to her and apologizes. She had known his dilemma all along and forgives him. They hug. The baby is a 5 year old boy.
Therapist: Are this girl and this baby people in Greta’s current life?
Client (Greta): The baby is Tobey and the woman is Fiona, my cousin and the baby is her daughter.
As he leaves that life Oh comments on the eagerness for work and task vs. relationship. This tension was untenable and having to decide so painful that he wouldn’t want this again. He wants to do something for them to feel safe and have a better life, but he can’t. He is frustrated because he wants to protect them even though he physically can’t. With sadness, he leaves them behind.
As Oh enters the afterlife and moves into the light, he is surrounded by love as he is drawn to a place of transition.
We talk about the contract of tension between work and relationship. He didn’t want this again.
Therapist: Is this something that you want to resolve now to no longer have to make the choice? Your guide can help you open up this contract and complete it with love. And can help you to allow both to happen.
Client: I’m seeing couples that work together and are together harmonically. They are so beautiful working and being together as part of the big community, totally combined together. I find this so beautiful. This would be the solution. To be able to work together and live together. I felt like this hasn’t been possible.
Therapist: You can now release this old tension. You can change the energy and now embody this joint energy and complete the contract that stopped this from being possible. Allow for this opening so you can manifest it, releasing tension from the past.
She sighs deeply as she integrates this suggestion.
Client: I feel a little tense in my belly and I feel I need to shift something in my mind to allow this to be in my life. I wish for it.
Therapist: So now moving from the either-or, the tension in your body, ask your guide to release the tension in the body
Client: He’s pouring in blue light to cleanse and heal. Getting more yellowish. It’s also about feeling myself as a woman and able to attract a man.
Therapist: Just let that energy in – your guide is supporting your reprogramming that you can release the tension and have both in your life.
Client: I feel my jaw getting tense.
Therapist: Let the tension out and ask your guide to help you release it. This physical and emotional tension is moving so let it happen.
Client: He’s using prana therapy. A week ago, I had this done and I was sooo soft – never felt so soft after this shaking.
Therapist: Embody that feeling now.
Client: I need that.
Therapist: This shift is beginning and will continue over time because it is a big shift – it will take time to engage completely throughout your being. Listen to your body.
Client: I feel the softness coming and also I was thinking of Fiona and Tobey, and there is always this feeling that I want to support them – I’m very important to them now but Fiona was disappointed that Greta removed herself because she was too busy.
Therapist: This is something she will remember as she softens and reprograms – to allow for all rather than having to choose.
Client: I long for connection but have resisted giving up my discipline and my training to connect. I’ve been stuck, but working on the softness, the feminine begins to shift this sense.
Therapist: Focus on your feminine now and let this strength shine.
Client: That makes so much sense. A life about relationships and the tension between them.
Client: My guide is saying, “You had to make a choice”. I don’t want that again but he is saying that you made a choice so a choice is made.
Therapist: If we stay with the simple choice then we choose one rather than both but integration is possible.
Client: And that as a woman we have the ability to combine. My guide is showing me the new programming to release tension and the contract. In my relationships with women, I left them and hurt them and I needed to go because of some idea I had, so I felt I couldn’t do both.
Therapist: So this life that you visited was at the start of the contract.
Greta nods.
Client: It fits what I experienced with my father – leaving his family for work – he did it and then I did it, and in this life I experienced the other side.
Therapist: This was a reinforcement of the rule; this life is to break and change this rule.
Client: I was so disappointed at one time that I thought about joining an ashram, but I realized that isn’t the answer for me – I crave relationships. I know I’m made for intimate relationships but even though I can have close friendships, the programming was in the way. A man I met in Tallinn said It’s like I had a shield on my forehead I’m very busy and he chose someone else. I am into training and learning my trade, so I am disciplined to learn with work. Even with something that I don’t know well I want to engage with it. This is a new area to train.
Therapist: Is that something that keeps you from being in other kinds of relationship? Does the training remove you from the ability to be open to others?
Client: No it’s actually a community and I could be open if I wanted to; there is always a tension between life, and work and then something gets me so strongly pulled in that I am side-tracked.
Therapist: It’s all about balance.
Client: How do you reach a balance? This is a hard thing to do when we have lived as a man.
Therapist: It is easier to feel the masculine side than the feminine so when we come in as a woman, we have to learn the feminine side of power, and the balance can be a difficult journey.
Client: It is so much easier to do the functional stuff, or where you program yourself into doing and learning than it is to go with the flow, to experience life from the flow of you- that feminine flow that supports others to join you.
The light going in was the beginning of the process. I should do prana because it loosens up my body and felt soft and relaxed. But I’m so usually into doing that this is hard to remember. When I am in my feminine – adding to my understanding of feminine as part of the core, and then I can manifest that. This life is about integration, so you start with your feminine side so that you understand what it feels like to manifest the flow of energy without judgement, without gender, simply being.
Balance of intimate relationship and work – both are integrally important – ideally together. You could see those couples as one combined energy come together, joined in an intimate way but we need to be our part of it when we move into our space to join with another.
It really touched me having a man and a woman working together – having that vision and this journey of integration. My guide is telling me that I am opening myself to become ready, to let go of old contracts before I could become available.
Therapist: Including your father and how your father story shifts with a different understanding. It repositions you.
Greta agrees.
The day after the session she wrote: “This was great yesterday – I woke up with a new clearness how I want to live: No more stress about business and doing stuff and discipline… that’s over. It was a big question for me how to handle these contradictions. Now it’s much clearer.”
Three days later she wrote, “You are right, the whole story is working in me and stuff is coming up. And new questions 😉 . So looking forward to our next session – meanwhile it’s good to let it sink in.”
Greta had come to her session with the belief that life was an either/or experience. That belief system seems to have emerged and solidified in the life that she visited, and yet her discipline and courage was pushing her to resolve this unmet and unaddressed tension in her life. She realized that she had created stories that supported her beliefs about her father abandoning her as the cause for her lack of ability to bond with a man. And yet, she knew that this really was only a story and not the true cause of her dilemma. She had begun to experience prana therapy prior to our session and found that it encouraged her to experience her feminine side in a fuller way. She recognized that she was comfortable with her masculine side and behaviors, much more so than her feminine. Our session was the expansion of her connection to her feminine strength in a way that appears to be encouraging her to pursue greater integration. ♥
Diana Paque is an LBL Facilitator in the San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA and online worldwide