Easing Pain and Suffering through Connection
By Asya Sirovnik Moskon
Certified Life Between Lives® Hypnotherapist, Slovenia
Writing about pain and suffering is perhaps the most difficult of all possible topics, as it touches something profoundly human and essential to our experience here on earth, and has the potential to awaken deep, and perhaps uncomfortable, emotions. For a long time, I believed that suffering was the unnecessary component of life, and I still believe that much suffering can be overcome. As Buddha said, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is not.”
We all have known suffering, and we all have experienced pain. For better or for worse we have gone through events, or phases in our lives where there was pain present: pains of loss, grief, rejection, isolation, abandonment, to name a few.
The process of being in pain take us into the depth of our being and has the potential to change us in the most profound ways, or it has a potential to become traumatic and damaging if it becomes long term suffering that takes a toll on us and our psyche. When pain is turned to suffering which, in turn, is not ‘handled well’ (I will explain below what I mean by handled well) there is a potential that we become ‘stuck in the process’ for a longer time than it is healthy for us.
Pain in the present moment can become a trigger for emotions that have been stored in our subconscious mind from the past. This can bring to the surface old trauma. As Gabor Mate says, “Trauma is not what happens to you, it's what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.” Once trauma is present in our body, mind, and subconscious mind, it is always present in the ‘background’ like a humming sound; when triggered it brings to the surface old emotions and our automatic reactions.
One of our habitual reactions to pain and suffering might be that we feel alone in it, or that we should ‘deal’ with it on our own. Ideally a painful event would be handled in such a way that we are supported through it: that we know that we have support available, and that we are to seek all kinds of support through the process. It is liberating to remain connected with human and spiritual support through the phases of life that are painful and to know that in it we are not alone.
However, often, due to our early conditioning we may react to pain with subconscious automatism of retrieval into isolation (inner isolation, social isolation etc.) where we deep down in our being believe that we are ‘’in it’’ alone. There is a saying that goes something like this: the worst about suffering is that deep down in our being we feel as if we are cut off from the benevolence of life, from the source itself, from the sense of belonging, and that we are left alone in the dark. This is where suffering begins; suffering is in this unconscious psychological reaction to pain: in the sense that we are in ‘it’ alone.
Spiritually, the greatest suffering begins when in the experience of pain, we are led to believe, or spark (untrue but strong) beliefs that we have been ‘cut off from the source’. It is in this deep inner spiritual cut-off, or the perception thereof, that true suffering begins. Ancient masters would say that this distress is illusion, because our perception that we have been cut off from the Source, the Spirit, or spiritual realm is also an illusion. But all who have experienced it, know very well that the emotions and state of being is very real and has a very real effect on the psyche and the body.
Can we heal this deep, core belief about who we are, and our relationship to life, sprit, and the world around us? I believe that the answer to this question has been answered by sages thousands of years ago. It is imperative that we work towards healing of the unconscious belief that we are alone and isolated from the Source. Realization that we are connected to our Spiritual Home, the Source and Spirit world, heals us so deeply, that suffering and pain can be reframed as a temporary experience through which we grew as souls and people.
Once we heal our perception of self and our place in the Universe, and once we re-establish or reengage our deepest connection to Spirit, we know, we feel, and we are confirmed time after time that we are not alone. We feel and experience connection to others, to people, nature, life itself, and the spiritual realm that is here to help us, to support us, and to guide us through. Our lives become enriched with these deep relationships and our healing continues within the circle of support that the spirt world offers to us through invisible realms as well as earthly human connections.
Anyone who has ever experienced the beauty of a spiritual regression will remember the love, the support and encouragement that we are given ‘on the other side’. Often we receive the strength that those encounters gave us to continue walking the path of this life, and often we are shown how we are not alone. Many have recognized in their sessions those souls in our lives that we came to this planet with, to support one another, grow together and learn from each other. When we are supported and know that we are, our suffering lessens and our pain can be healed. The human experience provides the soul with lessons of isolation and pain through which the potential exists for developing greater self-love: greater love and connection to others. No one said that this was easy, and it is the courageous soul who comes and walks this planet knowing that the path will be filled with many difficult experiences. ♥
Asya Sirovnik Moskon is an LBL Facilitator in Slovenia