Ho‘Oponopono
By Larry Siebert
Certified Life Between Lives® Hypnotherapists, USA
In traditional Hawaiian culture, it is believed that there are no exceptions to forgiving. You forgive, then remember the learning, and forget the incident. Forgiveness means that the emotion is flat. Once the negative feelings are gone, your decisions improve, so you are free to move on with life and follow your path.
Ho‘oponopono means to make right with your ancestors and with the people in your life. It is both a forgiveness process and also a release process. Ho’o means to make, and pono means right. Pono, pono means to make right twice, that is, with yourself and others (i.e., as above, so below.) When you become right with others, you become right with yourself. Being pono means that you are in harmony with yourself and everyone and everything in your life.
Being pono also means that you are free of negative emotions. Being free of negative emotions allows you to learn the hidden lesson. This freedom allows you to move forward on your path. When we carry the baggage of negative emotions, we see our lives through that baggage.
David (Daddy) Bray described emotional baggage (or trapped energy) as black bags. We aim to stand in ao, which means the light. We tend to filter our perception of the world through the black bags we carry. Reviewing memories in a negative state alters them, and not for the better. So we need to free ourselves from our black bags.
Tony Robbins now talks about ho‘oponopono, as does Joe Vitale, who worked with Dr. Hew Len. Dr. Hew Len studied with (and now caries on the foundation of) Morrnah Simeona, who taught the actual process of ho‘oponopono and was well-known for her teaching and research on the subject. At first, Dr. Hew Len taught the process used by Morrnah Simeona, but later began teaching what has become known as the ho’oponopono prayer instead. The ho’oponopono prayer is where you say the following four things: “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you”. The main steps taught by Morrnah Simeona are the basis for the prayer.
There was no plain-spoken or particular way to say sorry in Hawaiian, so you would ask for forgiveness instead. The phrase, E kala mai ia‘u, in Hawaiian means, “Please forgive me,” and that forgiveness is a process, not an end state.
Only three things require forgiving in the Hawaiian culture:
1. Hala is to miss the path or error by omission.
We have all missed the path at some time or another. It could be procrastination or being unaware of the feeling of another person. We could have forgotten a birthday. Hala also occurs when you feel guilt or when you repress emotions.
2. Hewa is to go overboard or to go to excess.
Overeating, over-drinking, and obsession are examples of hewa. Being obstinate or going overboard with your passion are further examples. Also, holding negative emotions would be being hewa to yourself.
Hala and hewa are both committed without your knowledge because they are unintentional.
3. ‘Ino is where you have some intent to harm.
Small or large, anything you do with the intent to harm, from malicious gossip to assault, or worse is ‘ino. ‘Ino could also be unkind self-judgment or condemning yourself.
All three things need forgiveness. According to the Hawaiian code, the only person you are hurting by not forgiving is yourself.
It is best to use the Ho‘oponopono process in the following three cases:
1. Those who have wronged you
2. Those you love
3. Someone who has passed away
A transgressor is a term used for a person who has wronged you. It is someone who has run over your boundaries, who has done wrong to you.
The second condition was with someone you love. You want to deepen and improve your relationship.
The third situation is with someone who has passed away. The ancient culture of Hawai‘i taught that you want to become pono with their passing. Release the person who has passed away. This release allows them to live on in your memories. In the case of someone who has passed away, the process is about connecting with them in your memories.
In ancient times, there were three ways of doing ho‘oponopono.
The first way was face-to-face. When there is some resentment about a person, it is time to release that bitterness. It is time to deal with your garbage around it.
Doing the entire thing in your head is the second way. You close your eyes, and you understand that everyone is a projection of you anyway, so you dealt with it in your head.
The third way was a combination of the two.
The Ho‘oponopono Process
This ancient ho’oponopono process has been handed down for twenty-eight generations. It is from the Bray lineage, and it is a mental process. I am sharing with you here how to do the ho’oponopono process with one person.
Ho’oponopono is a closed eye process and starts by creating a stage or platform below you. Then, imagine yourself floating above the stage.
Next, choose who you are going to invite to the stage. This person will be someone who has wronged you, someone you love, or someone that has passed away.
The next step involves imagining a higher source of energy above you. If you are Hawaiian, it could be aumakua. If you are spiritual, it could be your Higher Self. If you are religious, it could be God. If you are scientific, it could be quantum energy. In general, you will be connecting to universal energy.
Imagine you are connecting to an infinite source of love and healing energy. This energy is coming from a source above you. Imagine it flowing down through your head, filling up your entire body, and healing you. The concept is that, once healing is complete, forgiveness will be possible. Take whatever time you need to allow this energy to flow down into you and heal you completely.
During the ho’oponopono process, you may feel like you are not ready to forgive. According to Morrnah Simeona, if this happens, you need more positive energy. You can receive positive energy by thinking about a place you love or a vacation setting. Find a place in your mind where you feel calm and peaceful.
To start the forgiveness exchange, open up your heart and allow the energy to flow down onto the stage. Imagine that it flows out of your heart, healing the person on the platform. Forgiveness is possible only after the healing is complete for both you and the other person.
What if the person on the stage does not forgive you or will not come to the platform? From a Jungian viewpoint, this person is a projection of the archetype of the person you hold in your mind. So the resistance suggests that you need to address something else. Morrnah Simeona wanted you to remember that you have control over the voices in your head. You are in charge of the answers, so say everything you need to say.
Once healing is complete, float back down to the stage and have a conversation with the person. The emotional charge has now disappeared. The discussion provides information, so learning is possible from the event.
At some point, you both have expressed what you want to communicate. Next, tell the person on the stage, “I forgive you. Please forgive me, too.” Asking for forgiveness is where you get the forgiveness back. Thank the other person for being on the stage, and thank them for the lessons they have taught you.
Everyone and everything you come in contact with creates a connection. In the Hawaiian tradition, you have an aka connection. Aka is a flow of energy between you and the person on stage.
Next, imagine a blade that emanates from the universal energy above. This blade of universal energy cuts the connection between you and that person. As soon as it cuts that connection, let the person on stage begin to float away. Cutting the aka connection leaves you free from any old negativity and baggage. If the person is a valued member of your life, you can decide to reconnect to them. Disconnection and reconnection create a new relationship with who they are today.
Mahalo Nui Loa and A Hui Hou – which means, thank you very much and until we see each other again. ♥
Larry Siebert is an LBL Facilitator in the San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA